Introducing The Golddigger Bra

Little Black Pants Club is a business where women design and make bras to go with our pants. It's industry standard that bras are named with girls names. We like our bras with a super soft lining of politics, so we've named our bras with names that girls get called, that need to be taken reclaimed for the sisterhood. Names that are used to undermine and diminish us. Nothing I'm about to say will be revelatory, its just a bash at developing the language of unity and empowerment, to lift us up like a supportive but inobtrusive foam cup.

The Golddigger is a classic mantle of shame. The inherent hypocrisy is so blatant, it could be quite boring to take it down, but hey ho- I got time. Lets just quickly define the terms- I'm working with 'A woman who has entered into a romantic relationship for money' as glamourised by Marilyn Monroe characters, and the Playmates.

The thing that instantly strikes me like a St Tropez tan, is that this is an insult that exists under capitalism, when capitalism itself dictates, 'make the most money possible in the shortest amount of time.' I'll just leave that penny on the edge of the table there- hence, what we're really looking at, isn't just sexism; (lowers voice) it's capitalist sexism;

"The Golddigger is our most upwardly mobile bra"

Sexism that seeks to divide the workers (DO NOT TELL ME THAT OLD MAN'S WIFE ISN'T WORKING). Sexism that breeds jealousy (there aren't enough millionaires to prevent us all working in shops) to obfuscate from the fact that HE's the one with the stupid amount of excess capital and a villa in somewhere where people buy villas in order to have a villa next to other people with stupid amounts of excess capital. In many ways- she's helping him with sharing.

Maybe it's the crime against true love that gets people. It's heartless of the golddigger to pretend to love that old rich lizard and then just sit around getting her nails done, waiting for him to die. Well to those embittered romantics I'd say- although two acts of heartlessness do not a Jane Austen novel maketh- it's at least a bit heartless of him to reject the charms of all the successful older lady babes, and seek an arrangement with his lesser in both finance and wisdom.

Basically, we all know where the blame lays in this situation, if you need someone other than capitalism to blame. But, we shouldn't ignore that while money seems to roll uphill, ideology loves a bit of trickle down, and unless we stay vigilant, the myth of the financial inferior can infect us all.

I ain't sayin she's a Golddigger, but... Is not something anyone has said to my face. I do in fact 'date' a (little bit) older fella with more income than me. I do, technically, have dependents from previous relationships. And I don't definitely feel maximum Destiny's Child about it 100  per cent of the time.

Being the lesser economic contributor is my achilles heel; a well timed arrow in a heated argument can bring down the whole Shebango. Which is why I'd like to thank Kanye- for his strangely empowering take on the 'Hot Mama who'll spend your money for you' scenario.

His track makes me want to own my lifestyle like I own that bassline;- When the CEO's who want to make money off my labour, are willing to pay my childcare (through a free at point of access state funded system that they pay the taxes on), maybe then I'll feel bad.

The Golddigger is our most upwardly mobile bra. We use a delicate foam cup (nothing too bulky) a wide underband and nice wide 15mm straps to hoik those puppies up under your chin.

The outer can be your choice of super soft organic jersey, or graphic lace.

It features, as always- a fully adjustable back, so when we're getting the fit right, we only have to swap your cup size. Incidentally we've designed this back to look great even if visible so we can support you to wear the low back versace dresses of your high end escort dreams.

We make all our bras in our brixton studio, so we're happy to adjust the style and fit, just like you're Pretty Woman. You need a 22" back? One boob a whole cupsize bigger than the other? No problem.

To order a bespoke bra, either join one of our membership subscriptions and spread the cost over the year, or order direct and we'll email you for your information.

Not ready to attract yourself an aged sponsor? Take a look at our full range of boob cradles, or email us for something entirely new. If it can be done, we'll do it.